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Post by michael on Dec 24, 2014 15:34:11 GMT 1
Thought it might be amusing, or not, to have a thread as per the heading... So here goes:- The other evening there was a newflash warning people about flesh eating zombies. When I was walking my girlfriend later on she paniced when she saw one. Don't worry I said he is 'armless - can't you see he stopped off for a snack!
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Post by michael on Dec 25, 2014 8:09:11 GMT 1
Hopefully thete will be a surge after the turkey and pud...
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Post by michael on Dec 25, 2014 10:34:18 GMT 1
Q. Who was the first chiropodist?
A. William the Corncurer
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Post by Joe on Dec 25, 2014 11:26:25 GMT 1
The day before Christmas Adam said to his wife "Tomorrow is Christmas, Eve"
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Post by zephyr6man on Dec 25, 2014 21:01:24 GMT 1
Ah well! here was my instructions for the Christmas dinner. Not a cracker joke sorry but I smiled when I got it!
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Post by Eddie on Dec 26, 2014 0:25:07 GMT 1
What sort of motorbike does Father Christmas ride?
A Holly Davidson.
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Post by michael on Dec 26, 2014 8:06:11 GMT 1
What are pilots' favourite crisps?
Plane!
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Post by michael on Dec 1, 2015 14:21:58 GMT 1
An old guy said to his wife "There's a lot of repeats on the Cookery channel". She said "You old fool - you've been watching the microwave"!
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Post by colin on Dec 1, 2015 15:21:26 GMT 1
What do you call a telephone that's not wired up?
"A Phoney!!!"
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Post by michael on Feb 22, 2017 21:31:08 GMT 1
A friend has just traded his automatic Mondeo in for a manual Jaguar. "That's a unusual choice" I said. "No" says he "the wife has an automatic only licence"!
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Post by michael on Dec 22, 2017 14:45:41 GMT 1
Time for a laugh at the old cracker jokes! Q. What do you call Santa's little helpers? A. Subordinate Clauses!
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Post by michael on Apr 17, 2018 18:15:22 GMT 1
My girlfriend is annoyed as I have renamed her dog Rupert! The problem was, as I told her, I needed a new memorable word for my bank account!
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Post by d00b1x on Apr 18, 2018 15:28:15 GMT 1
Why did the pie cross the road?
Because he was meat ‘n’ potatoe
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